Hello everyone! Whether you’re a longtime client or just stopping by, I’m so glad you’re here. Thank you for being in community with me.
Each of us has had their own unique challenges and experiences with the pandemic and it feels like we’re all (finally) beginning to make our way forward into new ways of being.
Our worlds were turned upside down in ways none of us could have imagined. For me, I withdrew to cocoon and experienced a multi-layered depression and spiritual awakening as I came to terms with my chronic depletion, a burnout that had been running in cycles my whole life.
You see, I came to learn that my system, me as a whole human, was not just highly (and uncomfortably and annoyingly) sensitive, but super dysregulated by a series of traumatic experiences that continue to heal.
My system was like, “Hey Jenny, we can’t keep going on like this. I’m gonna keep flaring up your elbow tendonitis until you make some changes.”
Over the course of 2020 to now, I came to truly embody the iterative and integrative nature of true healing. This is where you do a little work and then come back, repeat, and give yourself space to soak it all in over time with mindful awareness and reflection.
This time around was so significant because I was seeing my pain reflected back at me in the relationship hiccups I was experiencing when I was forcing outcomes (i.e. CONTROLLING). I noticed all of this as I began to loosen my grip and allow myself to fall into a new cycle of flow and abundance.
We all know this as striving vs. thriving. It's a tough one to embody.
The time to integrate was the link I kept skipping over as I jumped from one healing to the next, in a compulsive trauma response, addicted to the highs of healing. This is the shadow side of toxic wellness that we rarely talk about. Marketing is a big contributor to our programming of thinking that there's something that needs to be fixed in us.
There's nothing wrong...with you or with me (being highly sensitive). Perhaps we can continue to question the old paradigm that has us pushing until we just have no more to give.
I've chosen to skip over-identifying with the label of empath with intuition as a superpower. (Thank you for coining the term "retired empath" Maryam Hasnaa!) And instead, I empower myself with agency, the ability to choose my responses with discernment.
I don’t have to be ruled by my nature. I can choose when to skillfully amplify these sensitivities as gifts and when to subdue and soften my reactions with intention. Of course, it’s more nuanced than that AND that shift in itself brings so much long awaited RELIEF. This repatterning is me integrating my PERSONAL POWER.
Mindfulness practice, Reiki meditations, and additional nervous system regulation tools have been so helpful with changing my default responses of overreaction and periods of shutdown. My window of capacity is so much more broad and flexible. Yay!
Progress has been slow and steady with "setbacks" here and there. We all know so well how healing is nonlinear. I get that now - so much - that I feel it in my bones. I feel it with that deep down knowing.
It’s been an interesting journey navigating this early on with guidance from mostly online teachers like Cyndi Dale, Maryam Hasnaa, and Lacy Phillips. Upledger CranioSacral Therapy courses have been a godsend this year. I’m still searching for an amazing therapist and indeed, bodywork and acupuncture have kept me going. (Insert heart emoji here)
And through it all, I’m truly grateful for my community: friends, family, and you, my clients, who have been patient and supportive even when you weren’t quite sure what the heck was going on (To be honest, even I wasn’t sure until now).
I KNOW. This is probably the 5th version of my website! LOL I think we went from Reiki with Jenny to Arctic Fox Healing Arts to Dream with Jenny... to Heal with Jenny... Umm, yeah. We can stop there! Obviously I was going through some serious indecision about my future.
COACH? HEALER? ENERGY WORKER? THERAPIST? Yep, now I'm just gonna do it all! Grad school is on the horizon (Well, maybe not any time soon...or at all really...more on that here).
It was our loving connection that kept me returning to the work time and time again. For a hot minute it felt like I couldn’t do it any longer because I simply needed another break. Pandemic wasn't enough. What was required was for me to refill my cup multiple times over so I could be SUSTAINABLE.
I had to walk the talk and rearrange all the moving parts. I had to stop hiding my pain. I had to stop going, going, going.
So my question for you, for us, for society is… Can we stop pretending when things aren’t feeling good? Can we stop masking? Can we stop running away and numbing? Can we return to truly loving ourselves flaws and all?
Can we open to the ebb and flow of life and make grace a default response when we feel tired? Can we help each other through the hard times by suspending judgment?
Let’s start chatting about this. I welcome an authentic dialogue and freedom to express your individual perspectives. This isn’t a one size fits all kind of thing.
And finally, I’m here to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry for jumping ship with no notice or limited notice. I didn’t realize how much you all were affected by my actions. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed my support.
So I extend a warm welcome back to my long term clients who have rediscovered me. (BIG HUGS) You know the sentiment… “Reunited and it feels so good.” Sing along with me now. lol
Have questions? Need a one-to-one unpacking? Please hop on a call with me.
We’re all in this together. Here’s to our collective rising!
WITH LOVE + A MILLION THANK YOU'S,
JENNY DIPASUPIL, LMT
P.S. If you’re a bodyworker struggling with depletion, you gotta take this class by awesome teacher and mentor, Eric Moya. It helped me make sense of what I’ve been through. And now I have an even deeper skill set to help my clients through the tough times. For this, I am so, so, so GRATEFUL.
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